★ The Marketing Arcade ★
Insert quarter. Press start. Learn marketing the old-fashioned way — by losing badly and trying again.
Pay off your SaaS debt in 30 days
A text-based business sim. Take gigs, dodge churn, survive a viral disaster. Can you beat the leaderboard?
Triage the chaos. Discover your archetype.
Amplify, reply, ignore, DM, or ban. 40 messages, 3 rounds, 1 archetype. Are you an Empath or a Ban Hammer?
This or that — pick the brand
Two brands. One unhinged prompt. Pick which one would actually do it. The crowd gets smarter the more you play.
Drug Wars on the Croisette
€500, six days, and a vague title at a media agency. Buy low at the Gutter Bar, sell high at Spotify Beach. Don't get audited.
Swipe the Cannes fleet
Ad-industry sponsored yacht — or just some guy named Dietrich? Swipe through 2026's actual Cannes fleet, mixed with decoys. Score your Croisette IQ.
AI bouncer rates your vibe 0–100
Upload a photo. Our AI rates how Cannes-Lions-coded you look, with brutal commentary and a shareable card built for the group chat.
Tap the squares as they happen
Live-play bingo for the coffee line. Standing ovation, empty water station, someone says 'synergy' — the works.
Silhouettes and clues, three guesses
Fontainebleau lobby or Time Out Market? Squint at the silhouette, read the clue, name the venue before the badge scanner unfreezes.
Was it said on stage — or by the daybeds?
Read the quote. Ten rounds. Streak counts. The line between thought leadership and poolside oversharing is thinner than you think.
Match the absurd expense to the real story
$842 bar tab, six people at the panel — you know the type. Match every receipt to the trip that produced it.
Coming soon
A new game is loading. Drop David a line if you've got an idea you want built.
The Marcade is just getting started. If you've got an idea for a marketing game — or want a custom one built for your brand — let's talk.
▸ Pitch a Game ◂